Have you ever felt like the person you’ve become isn’t truly who you are? That somewhere along the way, you’ve accumulated layers (expectations, beliefs, and identities) that don’t quite fit? If so, you’re not alone.
Many of us spend years building a version of ourselves that aligns with societal norms, family expectations, and personal fears. But what if the key to fulfilment isn’t in adding more but in shedding what no longer serves us? This is the essence of Unbecoming.
What Does It Mean to Unbecome?
Unbecoming is not just about letting go. It is a process of rediscovering the essence of who you truly are. It’s about surrendering the illusion of control, radically accepting yourself, and daring to challenge the roles and identities you’ve carried for so long.
Life has a way of pushing us toward this transformation, often through unexpected challenges like loss, illness, or major life changes. These moments shake the foundation of who we think we are and force us to ask what truly matters.
At its core, unbecoming is about rejecting conformity and uncovering the layers of our being. It’s an ongoing process, not a single event. You don’t wake up one day and suddenly feel entirely free, but each step you take, each old belief you release, brings you closer to your authentic self.
The Fear of Letting Go
One of the biggest barriers to unbecoming is fear; fear of the unknown, fear of losing what’s familiar, fear of stepping outside of the comfort zone we’ve built.
But ask yourself: If I let go of the version of myself that no longer fits, what do I gain?
More often than not, the answer is freedom, clarity, and a deeper sense of purpose. Yes, comfort is safe. But true growth lies in stretching beyond it. It’s about embracing the discomfort of transformation and trusting that what lies on the other side is worth it.
The Art and Science of Unbecoming
Unbecoming isn’t just an abstract concept. It is both an art and a science. The art lies in the creativity of self-expression, in honouring our emotions, and in boldly stepping into our uniqueness. The science comes from understanding how our minds work, how we can rewire limiting beliefs, and how we can use techniques like mindfulness and hypnotherapy to facilitate this transformation.
For example, neuroscience shows that our brains are wired to seek patterns and familiarity. When we try to change, our minds resist, preferring the comfort of what is known. However, through awareness and intentional practice, we can rewire these patterns. Techniques like guided meditation, self-inquiry, and therapy can help us break free from subconscious programming and step into a more conscious way of living.
Practical Steps to Begin Your Unbecoming Journey
If you’re ready to start unbecoming, here are some simple yet powerful steps you can take:
Identify What No Longer Serves You: Take a piece of paper and create two columns: “I Should” and “I Desire.” In the first column, write down all the things you feel obligated to do. In the second, write what you truly want. Notice the difference in energy between the two lists. What if you started prioritising the second column?
Embrace Vulnerability: Give yourself permission to say: ‘’Today, I’m struggling’’. Authenticity means allowing yourself to be seen, even in your most imperfect moments.
Release Negative Self-Talk: We often carry an inner critic that holds us back. Next time you catch yourself in negative self-talk, pause and reframe it. Instead of I’m not good enough, try I am learning and growing every day.
Step Into Your Boldness: Think of one area in your life where you’ve been holding back. What would it look like to take a bold step forward? Maybe it’s speaking up, pursuing a passion, or setting a boundary.
Trust the Process: Remember, unbecoming is a journey, a daily process. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Trust that each step you take is leading you closer to the truest version of yourself.
The Beauty of Becoming by Unbecoming
The journey of unbecoming is not about becoming someone new, it’s about remembering who you’ve always been. It’s peeling back the layers of expectations, shedding the “should,” and stepping into a life that feels deeply aligned with your truth.
So, ask yourself: ‘’What am I ready to let go of?’’
And more importantly: ‘’Who am I becoming in the process?’’
If you’re ready to embark on this journey, know that you don’t have to do it alone. Whether through therapy, hypnotherapy, coaching, or simply surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals, there is support available to guide you along the way.
Let this be your invitation to begin.
To release. To surrender. To embrace the beauty of unbecoming.
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